JUST.MY.LUCK.

I WANT IT, AND I WANT IT NOW. My guiding motto for the 29 years I lived on this planet. I got whatever I asked for, no one could stop me and no one ever wanted too.
I always believed that this motto can take you places. Last December I was proven wrong, or more like, given a wider perspective of the PLACES this could take me.
He was my best friend. I was madly in love with him. Quite obviously, he never saw it. He in turn was crazy about a girl, a year older than us. I never accepted defeat; I would always find a fault in all his girlfriends but she was special to him. No matter how bad she was, he could never hate her. He would do anything for her; she was his everything, while he was MY everything.
“It’s just a fling." I always used to comfort myself. “He’s going to end up with me. Isn’t that how it generally is, how it SHOULD be?”
DECEMBER, 9 I got the dreaded call. “She’s the one. I’m in love with her. I’m going to propose to her, TONIGHT.” My world fell apart. I dropped the phone and managed to walk towards the kitchen for some water. This is it. It’s all over. He would propose, and she would say yes. Why wouldn’t she say yes? He’s the most wonderful guy on this planet. I have to pull myself together.
Four weeks, it took me four weeks to recover from the shock. The phone rang, my mother looked at me. “I don’t want to talk to him. Please.” “how long are you going to avoid him? He’s your best friend and he needs you!” “FINE.”
“Hi.”
“Hey, I’ve been so worried! How are you?”
(Oh god. Why do you HAVE to be so cruel?)
“Im fine. So I heard you guys are getting married! When’s the big day?”
“Well, in a week’s time and I was wondering if you could come and help me pick a sari for the wedding. If you’re not too busy, of course.”
I sighed, mom glared, I glared, she glared back. She won.
“I’ll be there what time?”
I was going wedding shopping with the bride. FANTASTIC.
The wedding was a beautiful ceremony.
A year later, it FINALLY struck me that he was never to be mine and I must move on, and that’s what led me to meeting my prince charming.
We were working in the same office for a very long time. I wanted to get married and move on as soon as possible; and so I got married exactly a year after him. Even though, I visualized this scene differently with a different man, I wasn’t devasted. The wedding preparations and the wedding was a breeze. I felt gifted. I was happy.
Three months later, another call. Someone was weeping on the other end. “Hello?” “I don’t want to lose her.” “Hello?” “I can’t…I just can’t…” “oh god…what ……what happened?”I stuttered. “She’s been having terrible headaches but I never thought it would be a tumor, I mean, in 3 months she’ll be gone….”
His voice was soon a faint whisper in the background. I couldn’t think straight. I went blank. I stared into thin air. I sat down, then banged my head and thought to myself, just on goddamn year. If I had waited just one year. Argh. Stupid nonsense.