i love going to school but i hate attending the classes..........(thats stupid-i know)
i like classes only if its something that interests me..............which is a rare possibility...........................................
this is home-
aishwarya!!!!!!!!!! its 10th std. wat makes you think its completely alrite to while away your time?!?!?!?!?! show some seriousness ........................................................or.........................................ur reading a book???? is dat wat ur going to rite in ur board paper-'i read a book.'????????? have you gone insane..........????
YES I HAVE GONE INSANE!!!!
my family is freaking out over the whole swine flu scenario ever since the schools shut down.
the schools shut down after the 'smart' collector literally threw all his responsibilty of the deaths of any students due to swine flu on the school auhtorities.
the collector freaked out because the maharahtra govt. freaked out and threw their responsiblity on the collectors.
the govt freaked out after many ppl died of swine flu.
many ppl died of swine flu because many god forsaken pigs managed to find some weird unknown newly invented virus and took it into their systems.
NOW THANKS TO THOSE PIGS EVERY TEENAGER IS SITTING AT HOME AND IS ROTTING..........................................LIKE LITERALLY ROTTING.........................................
however now the scenario at home is a bit different....its more like dis................................................
sit and study..............but before that wash your hands and ur face.............otherwise just go and have a shower....and then use that hand sanitizer
dnt touch that -wash your hands first
dnt go out
wear that mask a.k.a hanuman mask.........and den leave the house
(pls note.the subject is going from building C to building A)
no u cant go down to play! have you gone insane!!!
YES .......................I TOLD YOU SO BEFORE------------------------------------I HAVE GONE INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and im not the only freak whos suffering from insanomania (seeeeeeeeeeeeeee im so insane that i came up with a name for my insanity.....................thats just extreme insanity!!!)
everyone is suffering from this!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rather evry teen is suffering from dis.
now this disease is from: complete isolation from the outside world .............................it is some what of an mental imbalance where in the teenage brain losses complete control over his or her mind and does things which are beyond his or her control.
symptoms of this disease are:1. the patient starts talking to her himself/herself
2. starts to talk to their hair
3. they organize their study table,mess it up and den clean up again ...............and den they run to the clock to the time in which the completed the task
4. they start reading books like tinkle or chandamama or birbal the cleverest
5. they OFFER to help in household chores
6. they start hating their laptops,comps,T.V.s,iPods.
7.they volunteer to go out and buy medicines and vegetables
8.they start going around singing nursery rhymes
a few observed cases:
yayati satam: starts making weird noises and sings his version of twinkle twinkle-and do NOT correct him even if he is rong
nidhi mathur: (in league with aishwarya karunakaran): laughs over lame sardarji joke as if there is no joke like it!
chinmay tokey: went to the cinemas in his night suit and wore sunglasses in the night
namrata kakade:plans on robbing a bank,making a rock band,going on a feminist strike and making amovie on pirates.
saee diwan: she danced to random songs,conducted her own fashion show and clicked zillion pics of herself
pls remember dis disease is clearly not the persons fault and it only affects the teenagers.
it has been reported that the main victims are students of a certain gurukul school.
neways..........................................................................so this is how this newly invented diseases is affecting the teenagers of mainly pune.
the funny thing is this disease comes as an after effect of other diseases.
pls note dis disease is contagious! BEWARE.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
i hate you-a tribute to barney the dinosaur ( he is a dino rite?!?!?!?!?!?)
i hate you,
you hate me,
you got good marks-and ur showing of to me,
your such a freak(had to change dis word)
and ur head is full of pee,
so get lost and dont talk to me!!!
by,
'XYZ' and
aishwarya
you hate me,
you got good marks-and ur showing of to me,
your such a freak(had to change dis word)
and ur head is full of pee,
so get lost and dont talk to me!!!
by,
'XYZ' and
aishwarya
Saturday, May 30, 2009
that full moon night
this was a few years back...................
this was around 10:30 in the night and we were in our family home back in kerala...............we as in-my 2 elder bros-arjun and vineeth and my three sisters-anju,veena and vani.
so..................as always the elder brothers were busy mocking us and proving how amazing they are.........................(especially arjun who i hated THE MOST in those days.......................................)
so now in our grandmas place the upper apartment is vacant and no one uses it and i swear and god the person who has the guts to go out there at like 12 in the nite is without doubt the bravest freak on this earth!
and as always all the girls honestly accepted that we were cowards and we accepted we will NEVER go there.
but however if you've ever realised guys can NEVER accept the fact that there is some tiny minute thing which they being guys who have bulging muscles( well in this case -no) cant do it.
and so it was decided our brave warriors who feared nothing would spend one nite.............all alone (well of course in the honour of each others company) the clock strike 11:45 and our "valiant soldiers" got ready for their mission-to prove their sisters wrong.
11:55-the tension is building..............its no more a simple bet............its a matter of ego...............a matter of dignity..............it was war-BOYS vs GIRLS.
FINALLY............the clock struck 12 and our "warriors" walked towards the staircase and slowly climbed it...........step by step............
we bid farewell and watched them go.............hoping they wuld never come back......
12:01 arjun and vineeth sit upstairs and play cards...........
there's total silence...............................both of them are too egoistic to accept that their scared to even each other.
its a windy night and our warriors are playing cards...................and pretending to ignore the eerie atmosphere............
the windows are literally whacking against the wall and the wind starts to blow...........................
back downstairs all of us silently accepted that that maybe our bros were quite brave and so we decided to go to our rooms........
so our brave bros( pls note im not being sarcastic).......came down at 6.
out of the two-arjun seems to be the braver one.
so now the 2 musketeers decided to come down and shatter our lives with their victory.
now 6 o'clock in the morning is not that bright sunny time of the day.......................so.............our heroes were finding their way in the darkness.
suddenly....................vineeth's eyes spotted a body covered with a white cloth.........
now after spending all that while in that spooky area..................i think my brother got a bit bollywood into him or something..........
for his immediate reaction was-aaaahhhhhhhhh a dead body.
now ,as i said-arjun appears to be braver out of the 2......................................so he was like-that cant be! have u lost it???
"then u tell me what it is?"
"i have no idea................have can u be so sure its a dead body????"
as the 2 war heroes were watching................................ the dead body started to move...............
now this creeped both of them out.........................................................................
the body started to move and so did my brothers.............
they stared at it.................horrified................paralyzed..........................(clueless to a certain extent)...............................
they watched on..................
and suddenly the white body started to move more vigourously...................
and den it rose................................slowly..................................steadily...........
and den removed the white cloth.................of its face........................
at first the face was not very visible.................
and den the face was more visible........................................................
"what do u think u both are duin at this time of the morning??"
asked my irritated maid.......................also known as the "dead body."
this was around 10:30 in the night and we were in our family home back in kerala...............we as in-my 2 elder bros-arjun and vineeth and my three sisters-anju,veena and vani.
so..................as always the elder brothers were busy mocking us and proving how amazing they are.........................(especially arjun who i hated THE MOST in those days.......................................)
so now in our grandmas place the upper apartment is vacant and no one uses it and i swear and god the person who has the guts to go out there at like 12 in the nite is without doubt the bravest freak on this earth!
and as always all the girls honestly accepted that we were cowards and we accepted we will NEVER go there.
but however if you've ever realised guys can NEVER accept the fact that there is some tiny minute thing which they being guys who have bulging muscles( well in this case -no) cant do it.
and so it was decided our brave warriors who feared nothing would spend one nite.............all alone (well of course in the honour of each others company) the clock strike 11:45 and our "valiant soldiers" got ready for their mission-to prove their sisters wrong.
11:55-the tension is building..............its no more a simple bet............its a matter of ego...............a matter of dignity..............it was war-BOYS vs GIRLS.
FINALLY............the clock struck 12 and our "warriors" walked towards the staircase and slowly climbed it...........step by step............
we bid farewell and watched them go.............hoping they wuld never come back......
12:01 arjun and vineeth sit upstairs and play cards...........
there's total silence...............................both of them are too egoistic to accept that their scared to even each other.
its a windy night and our warriors are playing cards...................and pretending to ignore the eerie atmosphere............
the windows are literally whacking against the wall and the wind starts to blow...........................
back downstairs all of us silently accepted that that maybe our bros were quite brave and so we decided to go to our rooms........
so our brave bros( pls note im not being sarcastic).......came down at 6.
out of the two-arjun seems to be the braver one.
so now the 2 musketeers decided to come down and shatter our lives with their victory.
now 6 o'clock in the morning is not that bright sunny time of the day.......................so.............our heroes were finding their way in the darkness.
suddenly....................vineeth's eyes spotted a body covered with a white cloth.........
now after spending all that while in that spooky area..................i think my brother got a bit bollywood into him or something..........
for his immediate reaction was-aaaahhhhhhhhh a dead body.
now ,as i said-arjun appears to be braver out of the 2......................................so he was like-that cant be! have u lost it???
"then u tell me what it is?"
"i have no idea................have can u be so sure its a dead body????"
as the 2 war heroes were watching................................ the dead body started to move...............
now this creeped both of them out.........................................................................
the body started to move and so did my brothers.............
they stared at it.................horrified................paralyzed..........................(clueless to a certain extent)...............................
they watched on..................
and suddenly the white body started to move more vigourously...................
and den it rose................................slowly..................................steadily...........
and den removed the white cloth.................of its face........................
at first the face was not very visible.................
and den the face was more visible........................................................
"what do u think u both are duin at this time of the morning??"
asked my irritated maid.......................also known as the "dead body."
my version of first day in school
so............i walk inside the school i gate and i get the feel of entering a railway station.
I'm disgusted...................on the rite my moms quite excited on seeing that red boggy with no wheels and the stinky bathrooms. i see a board that says std.1 and i breathe a sigh of relief. then we move on and my mom is overwhelmed on seeing trees.....for we hardly saw any in Delhi.......................(according to her) and she starts jumping up and down with excitement like its her first day of school. we walk and i take a deep breathe before entering the gray,dull depressing building and a feeling of dread crawls in.i walk in and a torturous smell wafts by.............
i look to the right and i see a shiny yellow board which proudly introduces itself-'the girls bathroom.' i ignore it and walk forward................my mom pretty hyped up by now.................
now,we're in front of the school office...but no one's there.....i look at my watch....it's 8:15.............."mom we're early!" "shut up........it's good to be early,especially on your first day............" and then came the infamous glare......................
so we sit and wait...........tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock................
and den a figure appears..........both of us look up expectantly.............the person comes closer ............................
and den to my mother's happiness and my horror a boy with pathetically oily hair,and a yellow shirt and grayish blue shorts(cant blame him for dat)..........walks in...............
my mom is filled with happiness and satisfaction and is convinced that i wont end up dating one of them...........................
"see the boys of this school seem pretty innocent.........they dnt look like those guys of ur old school who have hairstyles like porcupines..........." "they're called spikes ma...spikes!"
" so wat???? you go to school to study not for a fashion show!" "MA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "wat?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" "ugh!"
so here i was listening to my overwhelmed mom and predicting how screwed my life was going to be...............................
so now we're back to the tick tock tick tock tick tock....................................
and then FINALLY the office staff arrive...............................
my mom walks in.......a bored woman looks up and goes "yes?" in a totally uninterested way.
"Hi, my name is meera karunakaran,i'm here to enroll my daughter,aishwarya karunakaran...." "she needs to write an entrance test and den go through..........." "actually she's done with all that......"
"but her name is not on the list............"
now my mom was no more the satisfied and content mother.
"Pls wait outside we'll call you in." Since it was more of an order than a request than.........she walked out like a dejected 3 yr old...............................
then they FINALLY found my name....and my journey in the "gurukul express " began.
i was asked to follow a man with glasses like harry potter (a.k.a gopal dada) to my classroom.
i walk in and see a bright sunny classroom with no one in inside...........they've gone for P.E. informed the harry potter dude.
so i sat on a chair and went back to predicting my future when a girl (a.k.a shruti savanal) entered. "Hi! Are you new??" my immediate response was to say "No,I'm here to do a project on the top ten crazy schools in the world....but then i realised that that was a possibility. so i just gave a simple yes.....
we were talking and i told her my weird and complicated story of how i've already completed 3 months of 6th grade.
and then her eyes widened," you've only done 3 months of 6th grade?" now that was a lot of attitude coming from a girl who's just STARTED 6th grade. "how you gonna manage class 7 portion then???'' oh-oh. not good.
"which class is this again?" a question i was supposed to ask first.
"class 7" great! not only has the school freaked me out with their collection of oily haired boys but now they put me in the wrong class.
then with a lot of complications and confusions they sent me to 6th ramdas.
now this classroom was a little less sunny than the previous one.
so i walk in and end up getting a free newspaper!
happier than ever( i have no clue why) i walked in.
it was geography............a subject i DETEST.so i was sitting there and listening to the teacher and pretending to be completely oblivious to the fact that the whole class was staring at the "alien" who just walked in.
after all that a teacher walks in (a.k.a sunita aunty) and with great pleasure tells me that her class is full and so i need to go to the OTHER class.
now completely pissed i take my bag and storm out of class and walk into a class that showed off a board-"6th Namdeo".
now this class had never seen the thing known as sunlight.
it was dark and scary...........i step inside the class and i hear the lightning followed by a devilish smile from an EXTREMELY tall person(a.k.a ameya ghokale) and an almost bald guy (a.k.a varad ghate-who i must say has a lot of hair now).
i walk in well aware of the fact that this is the end of my happiness.
i introduce myself to the teacher and emphasizes on the fact that i'm from vasant valley ...........a VERY posh school in Delhi.
so i guess as a privilege she gives me a seat on the second bench-all alone.
i walked to the seat and my eye caught a girl sitting rite next to the window flashing a big smile.
never did i know she was going to end up having one on one conversations with my father some day.....
so i sat there.....and realised i dont have a textbook.....and the teacher gave me the honour of sitting next to jagpreet.......who i gess was pretty disgusted by my sight.
and den science class went on and on..........
that was the end of day1.
next day.........pretty sure i dont want to sit next to jagpreet i spotted the girl with a flashy smile.
i went next to her and asked her................." can i sit here????"
"sure!!
she seemed more than happy.
"Hi! I'm namrata.i'm from the U.S. i'm new too. so have you got your notebooks??? here ,let me get them out for you." quite uncomfortable with the fact that a stranger was going through my stuff i tried to stop her but i was too late........so i let her search continue. the next minute i know she was taking my books out and writing on them and putting them in shelves which they weirdly called "pigeon holes".but then there was no stopping her. she was like a superfast train.
and then................the ACTUAL TORTURE was when she started talking.
it was like sitting in a room stuck with pigeons poking your eyeballs out and you could do nothing for your hands are tied with the chains of "be nice".
so as she continued to blabber i went back to sulking.
then came the period of relief to every kid-P.E.
now,me being a south indian living in places like delhi and bangalore did not know a word of marathi and with all my luck all the kids chose to converse in marathi.......either they had no idea that i existed or they were duin that just to annoy me.
so i walk in to the tiny ground (well atleast compared to my old school) i see a coach who utterly has no interest in what he's doing.
so he asks me which sports i play-"hockey and softball,sir". and then he passes some comment in marathi which makes all the guys laugh and make me look like the innocent dumb idiot who has no idea on what the hell is going on.(which i was)
and then i hear that they play a game called handball which i swear i had never heard of before.
so i was hoping all the girls would chose to play basketball........but as before..........with all my luck they decided to play handball.
so now................the game begins...................................................
and unfortunately a certain boy misses his catch which was followed by a bucket full of abuses from "the tall boy".later another guy misses his catch and suddenly the whole ground starts screaming-"ghay,ghay................."
now, for me, being a non-marathi speaker it sounded as-"gay,gay................."
quite horrified by their "freedom of speech" i ran to namrata who was silently reading a book in the corner.
pretty freaked out by sudden outburst of friendliness........................she froze for a minute and went back to being her usual self.
quite horrified by the 2 days in school i went to the hotel and cried.
quite upset by seeing this..........my mom offered to let me do homework 2 hrs late and my dad offered to take me out shopping.......!
so at the end of day....................i would like to give you a piece of advice wen your picking a school...........pic a horrifying one.............trust me you will have the time of your life..........(but pls dnt go and pick smthing like D.A.V..............) and end up getting a new pair of jeans.
I'm disgusted...................on the rite my moms quite excited on seeing that red boggy with no wheels and the stinky bathrooms. i see a board that says std.1 and i breathe a sigh of relief. then we move on and my mom is overwhelmed on seeing trees.....for we hardly saw any in Delhi.......................(according to her) and she starts jumping up and down with excitement like its her first day of school. we walk and i take a deep breathe before entering the gray,dull depressing building and a feeling of dread crawls in.i walk in and a torturous smell wafts by.............
i look to the right and i see a shiny yellow board which proudly introduces itself-'the girls bathroom.' i ignore it and walk forward................my mom pretty hyped up by now.................
now,we're in front of the school office...but no one's there.....i look at my watch....it's 8:15.............."mom we're early!" "shut up........it's good to be early,especially on your first day............" and then came the infamous glare......................
so we sit and wait...........tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock................
and den a figure appears..........both of us look up expectantly.............the person comes closer ............................
and den to my mother's happiness and my horror a boy with pathetically oily hair,and a yellow shirt and grayish blue shorts(cant blame him for dat)..........walks in...............
my mom is filled with happiness and satisfaction and is convinced that i wont end up dating one of them...........................
"see the boys of this school seem pretty innocent.........they dnt look like those guys of ur old school who have hairstyles like porcupines..........." "they're called spikes ma...spikes!"
" so wat???? you go to school to study not for a fashion show!" "MA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "wat?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" "ugh!"
so here i was listening to my overwhelmed mom and predicting how screwed my life was going to be...............................
so now we're back to the tick tock tick tock tick tock....................................
and then FINALLY the office staff arrive...............................
my mom walks in.......a bored woman looks up and goes "yes?" in a totally uninterested way.
"Hi, my name is meera karunakaran,i'm here to enroll my daughter,aishwarya karunakaran...." "she needs to write an entrance test and den go through..........." "actually she's done with all that......"
"but her name is not on the list............"
now my mom was no more the satisfied and content mother.
"Pls wait outside we'll call you in." Since it was more of an order than a request than.........she walked out like a dejected 3 yr old...............................
then they FINALLY found my name....and my journey in the "gurukul express " began.
i was asked to follow a man with glasses like harry potter (a.k.a gopal dada) to my classroom.
i walk in and see a bright sunny classroom with no one in inside...........they've gone for P.E. informed the harry potter dude.
so i sat on a chair and went back to predicting my future when a girl (a.k.a shruti savanal) entered. "Hi! Are you new??" my immediate response was to say "No,I'm here to do a project on the top ten crazy schools in the world....but then i realised that that was a possibility. so i just gave a simple yes.....
we were talking and i told her my weird and complicated story of how i've already completed 3 months of 6th grade.
and then her eyes widened," you've only done 3 months of 6th grade?" now that was a lot of attitude coming from a girl who's just STARTED 6th grade. "how you gonna manage class 7 portion then???'' oh-oh. not good.
"which class is this again?" a question i was supposed to ask first.
"class 7" great! not only has the school freaked me out with their collection of oily haired boys but now they put me in the wrong class.
then with a lot of complications and confusions they sent me to 6th ramdas.
now this classroom was a little less sunny than the previous one.
so i walk in and end up getting a free newspaper!
happier than ever( i have no clue why) i walked in.
it was geography............a subject i DETEST.so i was sitting there and listening to the teacher and pretending to be completely oblivious to the fact that the whole class was staring at the "alien" who just walked in.
after all that a teacher walks in (a.k.a sunita aunty) and with great pleasure tells me that her class is full and so i need to go to the OTHER class.
now completely pissed i take my bag and storm out of class and walk into a class that showed off a board-"6th Namdeo".
now this class had never seen the thing known as sunlight.
it was dark and scary...........i step inside the class and i hear the lightning followed by a devilish smile from an EXTREMELY tall person(a.k.a ameya ghokale) and an almost bald guy (a.k.a varad ghate-who i must say has a lot of hair now).
i walk in well aware of the fact that this is the end of my happiness.
i introduce myself to the teacher and emphasizes on the fact that i'm from vasant valley ...........a VERY posh school in Delhi.
so i guess as a privilege she gives me a seat on the second bench-all alone.
i walked to the seat and my eye caught a girl sitting rite next to the window flashing a big smile.
never did i know she was going to end up having one on one conversations with my father some day.....
so i sat there.....and realised i dont have a textbook.....and the teacher gave me the honour of sitting next to jagpreet.......who i gess was pretty disgusted by my sight.
and den science class went on and on..........
that was the end of day1.
next day.........pretty sure i dont want to sit next to jagpreet i spotted the girl with a flashy smile.
i went next to her and asked her................." can i sit here????"
"sure!!
she seemed more than happy.
"Hi! I'm namrata.i'm from the U.S. i'm new too. so have you got your notebooks??? here ,let me get them out for you." quite uncomfortable with the fact that a stranger was going through my stuff i tried to stop her but i was too late........so i let her search continue. the next minute i know she was taking my books out and writing on them and putting them in shelves which they weirdly called "pigeon holes".but then there was no stopping her. she was like a superfast train.
and then................the ACTUAL TORTURE was when she started talking.
it was like sitting in a room stuck with pigeons poking your eyeballs out and you could do nothing for your hands are tied with the chains of "be nice".
so as she continued to blabber i went back to sulking.
then came the period of relief to every kid-P.E.
now,me being a south indian living in places like delhi and bangalore did not know a word of marathi and with all my luck all the kids chose to converse in marathi.......either they had no idea that i existed or they were duin that just to annoy me.
so i walk in to the tiny ground (well atleast compared to my old school) i see a coach who utterly has no interest in what he's doing.
so he asks me which sports i play-"hockey and softball,sir". and then he passes some comment in marathi which makes all the guys laugh and make me look like the innocent dumb idiot who has no idea on what the hell is going on.(which i was)
and then i hear that they play a game called handball which i swear i had never heard of before.
so i was hoping all the girls would chose to play basketball........but as before..........with all my luck they decided to play handball.
so now................the game begins...................................................
and unfortunately a certain boy misses his catch which was followed by a bucket full of abuses from "the tall boy".later another guy misses his catch and suddenly the whole ground starts screaming-"ghay,ghay................."
now, for me, being a non-marathi speaker it sounded as-"gay,gay................."
quite horrified by their "freedom of speech" i ran to namrata who was silently reading a book in the corner.
pretty freaked out by sudden outburst of friendliness........................she froze for a minute and went back to being her usual self.
quite horrified by the 2 days in school i went to the hotel and cried.
quite upset by seeing this..........my mom offered to let me do homework 2 hrs late and my dad offered to take me out shopping.......!
so at the end of day....................i would like to give you a piece of advice wen your picking a school...........pic a horrifying one.............trust me you will have the time of your life..........(but pls dnt go and pick smthing like D.A.V..............) and end up getting a new pair of jeans.
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